i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Randomize
