i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
