Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
