Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
