I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
