eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
