Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
