I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I will pee on everything he values.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
