pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
