Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
4 words: hood of his car
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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