THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
