What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
that may or may not have been my penis.
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