I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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