haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
