'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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