is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
