I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
