Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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