Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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