I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
