one word: firstdatebathroomanal
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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