all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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