Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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