I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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