Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i would punch a child for taco bell
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Drake has all the answers
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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