It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
