Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
