is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Gay?
German.
Pity.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
