his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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