Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize