Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
