thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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