Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
