i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
