I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
