Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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