Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
