are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
