the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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