U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
