There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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