sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
