I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
