Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
