take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
