Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
