OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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