Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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