She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
