I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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