That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
