Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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