your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Less talking, more tequila
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize