I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
