do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
