I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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