just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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