Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
