I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
