Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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