haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
