I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize