words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
